Am I brave enough?

Am I strong enough?

To follow the desire

That burns from within

To push away my fear

To stand where I'm afraid

I have a mind that is changing directions all the time. And this year I have changed my mind regarding my future three times. I mean it’s sometimes just such a tough decision and you don’t really want to be making the wrong one, but I guess you just gotta do what you gotta do – no regrets. I went from not wanting to keep studying to wanting to keep studying and my latest decision is that I don’t want to study any further. I’m sick of it and it’s hanging far out of my throat. I think that this time I want a life, but what kind of life is it exactly that I want? I know that. I want to be a seasonal worker and that might not sound like dreams in many people’s eyes, but it is in mine as it will give me the space I need for my own interests as travelling and writing, and I’ll not be held up anywhere specific. This year I’ll be working one month at a fish factory in my home town. It’s my sixth season there and then three and a half month as a site-manager at the company where I did my internship, which I am very excited about as it is in my field of study. So that is four and a half months of work already settled. So how amazing could it be if I could do it like this every year and then just find another or two companies to work for during Winter and Spring? I wouldn’t even need an apartment and when there’s no work I could go travelling. Why should you not follow your dreams when there is nothing holding you back? I’m free as a bird and the world is so big and I want to see it. My plan of going to Australia is still ongoing – I am going next year and it’ll be the craziest thing I have ever done. One thing was to move to Ireland, but Australia is a bit further away.

The only thing that is really stopping people from going anywhere is the way they look upon themselves. They don’t think they are brave enough to do it and it’s a shame because everyone is capable, you just got to jump the gun. I’ve heard it a lot of times it’s brave of you to do this. Especially when I moved to Ireland. So many people told me that they thought it was very brave of me to leave everything for the unknown and that they would never be able to do so. But to me it’s not so much about being brave it is more about what I have to do. Sometimes you just got to close your eyes and walk.

Frodo looked at Sam rather startled, half expecting to see some outward sign of the odd change that seemed to have come over him. it did not sound like the voice of the old Sam Gamgee that he thought he knew. But it looked like the old Sam Gamgee sitting there, except that his face was unusually thoughtful.

‘Do you feel any need to leave the Shire now – now that your wish to see them has come true?’ he asked.

‘Yes, sir- I don’t know how to say it, but after last night I feel different. I seem to see ahead, in a kind of way. I know we are going to take a very long road, into darkness; but I know I can’t turn back. It isn’t to see Elves now, nor dragons, nor mountains, that I want – I don’t rightly know what I want: but I have something to do before the end, and it lies ahead, not in the Shire. I must see it through, sir, if you understand me.’

Almost a year ago, the 22^nd to be exact, I moved to Mullingar in Ireland. I moved to explore new heights and to fulfil a dream that I had had for a long time. The feeling of sleeping my last night in Denmark before my move is still very close to me and it feels like it was yesterday. The excitement and nervousness is something that you will probably never forget, because jumping out from a cliff (at least that is what it felt like) made the adrenaline pump so badly. Also just moving when you don’t know anybody or anything is scary in itself especially when you are in the situation I was in – with no connections to anyone in Ireland. Jump on the plane and see how it goes, that’s the best advice I can give.

Unfortunately I didn’t get to live in Ireland for that long, because of some issues with my student grants. My stay which I was expecting to last for at least two years were cut down to only five months. I chose to leave even though I might have been able to make the money last. But later on it was the right decision that I took, because I would have been forced to move back to Denmark anyway. In June we found out that my mother has cancer, so there was no way that I would have stayed in Ireland and I was extremely happy that I had already moved back home when we found out.

 “I wish it need not have happened in my time” said Frodo. “So do I” said Gandalf “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide”

I also love my new flat a lot and I am really happy about where I live in Denmark at the moment even though I haven’t been able to stay there for long. The thing is that since August I have been travelling around with a company that arranges Oktoberfests around Europe as part of my studies. So far we’ve been five weeks in Sweden, one in Denmark and four in London and one in Birmingham. We still have one week in Manchester and then two weeks in Italy before we finish this tour. And I even got to go to Edinburgh for three nights as well. I enjoy travelling around and doing work like this a lot, and the best thing about the fact that I enjoy it a lot is that this is what I have always wanted to do with my life. So for me I am in a satisfying state of my life since I have realised that I don’t just dream about this kind of work, I also like it very much, which is one step in the right direction. However this job means that you see a lot of hotel rooms, mud, rain and drunk people and you don’t really see anything of the cities you visit, because there’s almost always something to be done. But it’s okay that you don’t get to do any sightseeing because in the end you’re there to work.

This year has had its ups and downs and a lot of adventures, but by far the best thing that happened was William, my nephew who was born in July; just a few days before I had to go on tour!

After the event in Millwall Park, London

Canary Wharf, London

Edinburgh Castle, Scotland